Comrades
by Ariadne The Alchemist
Summary: Canaan muses on his navigator. Shonenai ish, but overall implied cKM.


Hello fellow Xenosaga fans! This is my very first fic, so I expect yall to be nice, okay? It is shonen-ai ish, but has an overall implied c/KM. Warning: Rampart (and probably incorrect) use of techno-babble. I watch waaay too much Star Trek. Oh yeah, Canaan is pretty much OOC in this one, so don't be surprised when he gets a little mushy. takes cover Pleeze R & R!

Cheers, ATA

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When I first met him, I was skeptical.

Why did Helmer assign this scrawny, soft-spoken, _boy_ to help me? He hardly seemed like the type for combat. I looked him over more as my eyes recorded his features. He had the strangest appearance of any human I had ever met.

I had records of white hair, but never on someone so young.

I had records of people with dark skin, but never with that kind of combination.

I had records of green eyes, but none that seemed to shine.

Upon further inspection, I found they literally were shinning. They seemed to glow, and light up the relatively dark room. He didn't seem like a Realian or a cyborg, so it couldn't be some weird function or process.

I took the liberty of doing a quick scan on him.

………

ACTIVATING U.M.N. IDENTIFICATION

Please enter name and code number

Code accepted

Receiving Scanning Data

Processing...

Name: chaos

Last name: unknown _(interesting)_

Occupation: none

Age: unknown _(he looks like he's only 16)_

Height: 169 CM _(he seems shorter then that)_

Weight: 53 KG _(so he is scrawny)_

Ethnicity: unknown _(not surprising)_

Other information: none

That's all I could find.

The U.M.N. usually had an entire megabyte on anyone that was registered in its systems.

But that was it on this "chaos."

What kind of name was that anyway?

His personally really wasn't ''chaotic''.

But he certainly was confusing. He hardly ever talked about himself. He never seemed to supply a straight answer to _anything_ you asked him. He downright avoided questions he didn't want to answer. It was actually quite annoying. In fact I think tha……

Why am I even thinking about him like this?

I am a specialized Realian made by Vector itself.

I have a suppressor that is specifically designed to keep all emotions in check.

I'm not supposed to have thoughts like these.

I'm not supposed to have feelings like these.

I am not a human.

Then why am I acting like one?

These emotions seemed to come up from no where. I thought it was something technical. Like a short in my emotions suppressor, or a glitch in the relays. But when I went in for a checkup, my suppressor was working at 100 efficiency. My advisor told me my emotions are just building to a level where the suppressor can't control them. But why? I didn't understand it. Then, I noticed a pattern…

They come out when he's around.

The…strangest emotions. Ones of, empathy. Compassion. Jealously. Fear. And a hundred others in between.

I don't know what to think anymore.

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We've only known each other for a short time. But now, every time I look at him, I see this...

Brilliance.

He's a gorgeous individual, anyone with eyes (artificial or not) can see that. I've also concluded that by human standards, chaos would be considered very attractive. But there is something else. Something much deeper. Something that all the tests and data and numbers and figures couldn't even begin to explain.

I am fairly sure that he is not completely human. Not only do all forms of scans on my part come up ''unknown'', there are...other things.

He survived my piloting skills in E.S. Asher without even getting slightly nauseated. I was monitoring his stats the whole time, and besides an increase in heart rate and body temperature due by adrenalin... nothing. He gracefully destroyed every single enemy (besides that last one) without breaking a sweat.

What is probably the most significant is that since the moment I met him, he hasn't aged a single day.

Fourteen years ago he looked sixteen. He currently looks sixteen. I do believe that there is something wrong with those figures. I've checked and re-checked. Hunted for even the slightest change in physical appearance. But he still has that same boyish face, same skinny figure, and those exact same eyes. They haven't changed in fourteen years. It defies all logical aspects. If he is human, he would have had some changes between then and now, correct? But then, if he isn't human, what is he? A higher being? Then what does he want? To study us? Why? We are not all that interesting, are we?

It is all really quite frustrating.

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After reviewing my past feelings and thoughts, I have come to yet another question:

Is it wrong to be thinking these thoughts because I am male?

I know humans still frown upon relationships with people of the same sex. They haven't gotten over that prejudice over the last few millennia. I see no reason why this is. People like that just can't have children the 'normal' way. But there are trillions and trillions of humans in this sector alone, so that's not the issue. I myself don't really have much of a sexual preference. I haven't spent nearly enough time with humans to learn their mating rituals. Nor do I have the desire to.

Proper relationships seem way too complicated.

And expensive.

I have never considered myself to be 'in love' with chaos, I suppose. I have never desired a romantic relationship with him. It's just...it would be nice to have someone who cared. Someone to relate to. Someone to be my...friend.

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I first saw him again not too long ago. I remember he was with that same U.R.T.V. boy we had rescued. Rubedo (or Gaignun Jr. as he insists on being called now) hadn't aged either. Birds of a feather I guess. chaos was with them. I watched as he turned to face me. His eyes showed that he remembered me. He smiled my way. I was content.

Then I saw those white shorts.

What are up with those things?

Did he even realize how many stares he must get?

Anyway, to my relief, he soon afterward changed his attire.

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When I found out I was to join him and his friends on the Elsa, I had mixed feelings.

On one hand, it would give me a chance to get to know him better. That I want.

On the other hand, these emotions would come back in full force. That I'm skeptical about.

Of course, in the end I didn't have any say. Realians don't have many rights.

He had a rather strange group of "people" he was with.

Six humans, one cyborg, one realian (now two counting myself), one android, one U.R.T.V., and a mess of robots running around all over the place.

I quickly began to learn more.

I found, in only a short time, that chaos was only interested in girls.

Period.

How do I know this?

He was always looking at her.

That battle android.

KOS-MOS.

Hasn't anyone noticed the way he always tries to stay close to her?

The way he is so protective of her?

The way he sadly smiles because he knows she can't really return his feelings?

I have.

Apparently no one else has.

At first, I didn't quite understand why. She is nothing more than machinery masked by a pretty face. "She" is not even a correct term for her. Although, it is quite obvious she was meant to be a woman. Yet, his feelings are as plain as day, so who I am to speculate?

I wouldn't quite be telling the truth if I said I didn't care that those green eyes were looking at her instead of me. It is rather ironic that we are both products of Vector, is it not? Not that its chief hasn't ever fawned over him when she thought no one else was looking. Poor Allen.

Anyway, he is in love with an android. I can accept that. A pacifist in love with a weapon... he's in for a bumpy ride, but I will be there quietly cheering him on.

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I have made up my mind. I will accept the way I feel about him and the way he feels about her.

Maybe we can become friends.

Maybe even good friends.

I want that very badly.

Right now, though, I'm not sure how he feels about me.

''Canaan, are you over there?''

Well speak of the devil.

I turned around from my park bench on the Durandel to see chaos walking towards me.

Same white hair.

Same dark skin.

Same green eyes that looked to have lived through an eternity.

And saw all the sorrows in between.

Same old chaos.

''Are you almost ready? The Elsa is about to take off... Canaan?''

I shook myself from my thoughts and replied in my same monotone voice, ''Yeah, I'm almost ready.''

He nods and turns to leave.

……

Wait a minute.

This is the perfect time to talk and you basically just shoved him out the door.

Say something!

''chaos.''

He looks back.

I'm stumped. How in the world am I supposed to say this? A million things race through my head, each as useless as the other.

''chaos,'' I say again.

Here goes…

''What exactly, _are_ we?''

He looks at me questioningly.

''What do you mean?''

''Are we, friends?''

He pauses. An eternity goes by.

''No.''

Ow. Cut down with just one...

''We are more than just friends.''

He looks me straight in the eye and smiles. A true smile.

''Comrades,'' he says, ''We are comrades, Canaan.''

I ponder that word as he turns and walks off.

Could he really sum up all….._this….._with just a single word?

……..

Yes, he could.

……..

Comrades.

Comrades.

More than friends…..we are comrades.

……..

I slowly get up from the bench and follow after him. Realization spreads throughout me.

Comrades huh?

I think I can live with that.

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Soooooo, what do you think? Too mushy? Too OOC? Wonderful? Terrible? I thought it was okay for a first fic. Prove me right or wrong! Sorry about the attack of the …. At the end ;

BTW: Comrade- friend or companion:somebody who is either a close friend or a companion, often resulting from shared experiences

Just for reference


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